forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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