So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
