I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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