I am puke
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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