Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
