Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
