Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're too hungover to prance.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
