It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
