how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
