I think scott just propositioned me for sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
