smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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