The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
its liver damage thursday
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
