Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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