Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
