just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
wow bdsm is so cute
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
