thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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