Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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