The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
