I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
