I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
