Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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