these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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