when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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