Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
