Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
