That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
