love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
