Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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