I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
