The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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