is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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