it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
