i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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