Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
