so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
