This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
