my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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