He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize