I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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