Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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