it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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