I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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