shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm really busy with my period
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