no. you can't hotbox the world.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
