He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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