Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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