She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
