thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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