2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I supernannyed him into submission
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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