I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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