My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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