when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Operation Purity has been aborted
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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