conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
